Sunday, July 27, 2008

It's Never Enough....

All the pretty words and little gestures.
All the promises and dreams of the future.
All the "I love you"'s and "I'll always be here"'s.

It's all bullshit.
Relationships do not come with a guarantee. They come with an expiration date.

I've tried so hard to make them work. I've also given up on them. I've wished that things were different and I've wished that they never ended.

But, not once have I ever had the chance to fully experience the feeling of being loved for who I am. I've thought that I was. I've even told people that he loved me for me.

But, after it was all said and done, it was just horseshit.

And, now, I wonder...
What does that feel like? To be loved for who you are and all that you are?
Is it all that it's cracked up to be? Do you lose yourself in that person, knowing that they actually understand you and still love you, even though you are OBVIOUSLY a nutjob (oh, wait...that's me).

Is it worth all the heartache?
Does it really even happen?

I know that I am just as much at fault in all of my failed relationships, but DAMN. Why? Why so many of them?


Why am I never enough?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you get that shit figured out, you could sell a million books. Everyine will have platitudes for you and words to cheer you up but nothing really helps.

But yet you have to keep doing it.

Hang in there. What else can you do?

~Nurseratchet~ said...

Noooooooooo....trust me darlin. You do NOT want to end up like me. You are very loveable just the way you are. Don't give up just yet.

Wish I was there to give you a big huggle pounce. I love you just the way you are!

Inner Geek Lover said...

Oh girl... it is all about experience though.. I guess they do all come with expiration dates though huh

KimberlE said...

They do not all come with expiration dates, just most of them. Look at me, I was 31 when I finally met the love of my life and it took a failed marriage and two children before it came to me. It will be three years September 1st, which is also my daughter's birthday, and sometimes I think it is mine as well.

Rach said...

Not enough? What about too much? That's me. I tend to be so Rachelly that people get overwhelmed. Everyone has faults...so don't even start to question yours, because it will drive you crazy. Oh, and just so you know, you are like Baby Bear's bed: Just Right.

Inner Geek Lover said...

I should clarify.. I mean that even the ones that last your whole life.. someone eventually dies...